The heart of the problem

Important events in our lives create challenges and tensions which reveal and test the underlying foundations of our relationships. It is often during critical life events, when we need each other most, that relationships either crumble or strengthen.

All 'talking therapies' have an underlying idea about mental and emotional health - what creates health and happiness and what makes us unwell. I practice a therapy founded on the belief that the well-being of the individual is closely linked to the well-being of their relationships - past and present. These ideas are informed by 'Attachment Theory' - thinking and research which emphasizes how our personal health and happiness relies upon the quality of security and care we receive from our important relationships, from the past as well as in the present. In deepening our understanding and improving our experience of these relationships, we help to improve our own well-being, both emotionally and physically.

If we know that someone will be there 'if we need them', then we can happily get on with living confident, contented and fulfilling lives. Without this security, especially when we are young, we can become anxious, depressed, lonely or overly jealous as we grow. Efforts to self-soothe or adopt coping strategies for these difficult feelings and thoughts, can lead us to further problems such as: over-eating, addictions, self-harm, obsessions, panic attacks or a general fear of losing control. Good relationships, especially our couple relationship, have the potential to offer all the nurturing and security we need as adults; but sometimes they need a little help.